


What the Fuck

by Thranduil_is_a_bitchking



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: He’s just trying to take over the us in GODDAMN PEACE, Honestly Grindelwald’s just on the verge of a breakdown, M/M, Perpetually, TOO GOOD, There’s so much swearing in this though, newt is a cinnamon roll though, poor Grindelwald, sorry - Freeform, such a bean, this is all this is, too pure, what has he done to deserve this stress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 09:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13027881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thranduil_is_a_bitchking/pseuds/Thranduil_is_a_bitchking
Summary: It’s 1926. The sun is shining. Gellert Grindelwald has successfully infiltrated the ranks of MACUSA. His disguise is impenetrable. Hes in control, and it’s all smooth sailing. That is, until a certain Magizoologist comes along and throws a spanner in the works. A big one.Or, my take on the one where Newt and Percival are... close before the events of the film, and Grindelwald just about gives himself an aneurysm with the stress of it all.





	What the Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my beautiful people!
> 
> I’ve seen a few takes on this, so I thought I’d try my hand at it. Now, if you’ve read any of my other stuff, you’ll know full well that comedy and I don’t mix, but I tried. 
> 
> This is basically Grindelwald just screaming internally for like 1000 words so, sit back and enjoy his approaching mental breakdown, because let’s face it, Newt is gonna drive him up the goddamn wall. 
> 
> This is my first time writing for this fandom, so please let me know how I did!
> 
> As always, enjoy!

The sun was shining. Birds were chirping. The foyer of MACUSA was bustling at 9am. He was on his way to a meeting with the Congress. People avoided him out of respect and fear. They were all oblivious. It was a beautifully ordinary morning. 

Until it _wasn’t_.

Now, if anyone had asked him - which they hadn’t, but if they _had_ \- Gellert Grindelwald would have said that he was an amazing Percival Graves, thank you very much. No one had noticed. It was down to two things. Call them main factors, if you will; Gellert’s stellar acting abilities, and Graves’ lack of any meaningful relationship. But, mostly, Gellert’s stellar acting skills. 

He’d grilled Graves within an inch of his life, both metaphorically and physically. He knew the man’s life inside out. He’d taken a delightful trip into the man’s mind, and he knew _everything_.

Or at least he _thought_ he did. _Apparently_ , he did not, because before him stood a total stranger. A stranger with bright green eyes and a beaming smile. Were Gellert a lesser man, he’d have hissed. As it were, a scowl was all he could allow.

‘Percival?’ 

Percival? _Percival?_

Gellert was used to answering to Director, to Mr Graves, sometimes to just Graves, but never _Percival_. Whoever this beanpole was, he clearly knew Graves well. _Fuck._ He scrambled to find a shred of information on Bambi here. He riffled through every invasion of Graves’ mind, every interaction, hell, every time he’d stalked the man. He came up with nothing. Nothing but a big, fat, blank.

Behind the serene smile plastered on Percival Graves’ handsome face, Gellert Grindelwald was _screaming_. 

‘I thought you’d be happy to see me.’

Without even a shred of panic, Gellert’s smile cracked into a grin. It hurt his face. His voice only wavered once, and it didn’t sound like a question at all. Not one bit. Nope. ‘I am.’

The man blinked. He clearly expected a name Gellert couldn’t bestow on him. He was clearly important to Graves, if the hurt in his eyes was anything to go by, and Gellert _had_ to convince him if he was to even dream of keeping this facade up. 

Goddamnit. 

‘You don’t look happy.’

‘ _Don’t I_?’ If it came out through horrendously gritted teeth, then so be it. Oh, he and Graves were going to have a lovely conversation about lying later on. Luckily, Gellert was an award winning bullshitter. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just been a long week.’

It hadn’t been up until about _five seconds ago_ , but it was apparently the right thing to say, because the beanpole softened. 

‘A hard case?’

Gellert was very happy to take the bait the man had thrown him, and nodded. He ran a hand over his face in frustration that was 2000% genuine. ‘Some horrendous murders. Really, they were...’ he sighed for dramatic effect, ‘horrible.’

The man’s green eyes filled with sympathy that made Gellert want to kill him. Either that or kill himself. He was open to options. 

‘I’m sorry, Percy.’

That was where Gellert drew the line. Percival, he could handle, but _Percy_? His eye twitched. It morphed into some sort of whole body shudder that made him want to vomit. 

‘I’m sorry, I have a meeting with Congress,’ he said. The man nodded.

‘I’ll see you at lunch? In our usual place?’ That hope was too innocent, too pure. Gellert was nodding before his brain could start screaming at him. The beanpole beamed at him, then trotted away, an amble of lanky limbs and social-awkwardness. 

Gellert started after him for a moment, shell shocked. 

_What the actual fuck?_

The meeting took more time than he’d anticipated, and Gellert was well and truly panicking by the end of it. He’d done nothing but scream internally for the entire 4 hours. Piqurey shot him a strange look. She was packing away her files by hand like some _muggle_. Gellert (as Graves, _obviously_ , the Dark Lord would never stoop so low) would have offered to help, but his hands were shaking so much he was afraid he’d accidentally sterilise a major landmass if he attempted anything. 

‘I noticed Newt came to see you this morning.’

The beanpole had a name! Gellert thought he might have been having a stroke. Relief hit him so hard, he feared he’d go into cardiac arrest. Honestly, it would have been a blessing. 

‘Yes, he did.’ He almost fainted as he exhaled. ‘We’re going for lunch.’

‘At the Candlewick?’

Gellert blinked. ‘It’s our usual.’

She smiled. ‘It is. You know they all know you by name now.’ 

The screaming started up again. Gellert would really appreciate a _fucking break_ from surprises today, but apparently the fates had it in for him, and wanted to test the strength of his heart. Fine. It was strong. He could do this. He had this. Totally had this. No stress. He didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

‘You look stressed.’ Piquery said.

Well goddamn, clearly he was just a fucking _piece of glass_ today. 

‘It’s nothing.’ Fuck’s sake. ‘Just tired.’

‘Well, Scamander has always been a good influence on you, so maybe it’s a good thing he’s back.’

_Fucking hell_. Gellert wanted to cry. Who the fuck was Scamander? His brain came to the logical conclusion that Scamander was Newt’s blasted _surname_ about five hours after the conversation had taken place. As it stood, the president merely patted him on the shoulder, and left Gellert to stress in an empty chamber. 

This was _not_ what Gellert had signed up for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Drop a comment and tell me what you think!


End file.
